Ultimate Betrayal

While Ai was still alive, Sentarou was all she really had outside of her parents. She was almost completely isolated from the village because everyone believed she was a monster. To Sentarou, Ai was just Ai. He had fun with her, he defended her to the point where he would get in fist-fights with the other boys and he would stay with her despite the repercussions from their peers. To her, he was like her knight in shining armor. After being chosen to be the seven-year-old sacrifice, her parents ask Sentarou to cooperate in saving her. Ai is very happy when he agrees and almost looks like she knew he would come through. I'm sure Ai trusted Sentarou more than anyone else because he was like the ideal person to her. He was the only kindness she knew outside of her immediate family. If he stayed with her despite teasing and fights with other boys, if he stayed by her side despite breaking the rules of the village and therefore angering the mountain god, he would have to stay by her side no matter what.

Ai's childhood adoration seems to develop into a crush over the three years in hiding. He is the only person she interacts with during that time, but she doesn't seem to mind. She even comments that she wished things could stay like that forever. As long as Sentarou was with her, she didn't mind what happened. He was her source of joy and love. Without him, she would have nothing at all. Sentarou obviously cared about her a great deal as well. He was only a child when Ai was supposed to be sacrificed. Going against a god that you have been told will be angry would probably be scary for any child. But to Sentarou, his feelings for Ai were more important. Ai truly, truly believed that he would protect her no matter what happened. She never doubted him for a moment once he agreed to hide her. If Sentarou had voiced wondering if Ai would want to run away together with him loud enough for her to hear clearly, I know she would have said yes in a heartbeat. She was all smiles about living in a tiny shrine secluded in the mountains by herself as long as he came to visit her every day. Therefore, if her life could improve while being with Sentarou, I'm sure she would take up the offer. Sentarou became the focus of her world during the three years she had to hide, which is why it was unbearable when he betrayed her.

Even after almost being beaten to death and thrown into a pit, feeling Sentarou's tears on her face gave her hope that she would make it out okay. Her childish belief that as long as Sentarou was around, everything would be fine probably kicked in. She may have been naive, but she honestly believed he could protect her no matter what the circumstance was. The first thing that Ai voices after he shovels dirt into the pit is that she couldn't believe he didn't protect her. Despite it only being a few clumps of dirt, Ai falls backwards like she had been hit with a ball of lead. Without Sentarou, there was no hope. There was no meaning to life. Her entire world just blew up in her face and there was no point in trying to piece it back together again. She might as well just lay down and die.

Though Ai had gone her entire life suffering, her feelings never actually turned into hatred until Sentarou betrayed her. Sentarou was like a barrier between the feelings of hate inside of her and her brain. I would assume, then, that Ai was just so grateful and happy to have Sentarou by her side that she was willing to overcome anything in order to stay with him. Those feelings of happiness quickly twisted into hatred as soon as he displayed to her that she wasn't worth as much to him as he was to her. Ai skipped pain and went immediately to rage because she felt so terribly betrayed. He promised that he would protect her no matter what. Four hundred years passing did nothing to qualm her rage, either. As soon as Ai realizes that Sentarou didn't die when she burned down the village, she becomes completely enraged again. Her heart is overtaken with hatred and she desperately tries to sent Hajime to Hell, not caring what happens to her in return. The thought of Sentarou being alive in any way made her blood boil. Ai never truly got over his betrayal; she was simply forced to erase the memories. She even goes as far as getting Tsugumi to send her father to Hell by manipulating her feelings of loneliness. Considering Ai usually reaches out to those who are lonely and identifies with those who suffer even though they did nothing, she becomes extremely out of character. Her hatred for Sentarou runs deep.

Ai's feelings of betrayal may overpower her hurt and sadness, but that doesn't mean those feelings aren't there. Even after burning down the village and killing everyone, Ai completely breaks down and starts sobbing. Naturally she was probably in disbelief of how quickly everything went wrong, but I believe that most of her tears were the result of losing Sentarou in the way she did. How could the Sentarou that she loved and trusted betray her? He stayed with her for so long, so why didn't he do it until the end? She obviously wasn't worth dying for to him, and I'm sure she realized that. Though she never actively thought he would die for her, I'm sure she came to the conclusion that her childish image of him was false. He cared for her, but not to the intensity she believed. It hurt to realize that. It hurt to try and accept that. After blowing up the shrine he built she is also shown crying rather than showing anger. Therefore, I think she was more hurt than her heart allowed her to realize.

Ai believes that apologies are useless though, because they can't bring back what is gone. That is why she blows up the shrine, setting it ablaze much like she did to her village over four hundred years before. I believe this action also represents her coming to terms with what happened between her and Sentarou. She couldn't kill Sentarou like her heart had wanted to, but if she didn't do something she wouldn't be able to start healing. Destroying the shrine he built out of regret and apology was probably equivalent to killing him, anyway. He would have apologized tremendously if he ever met her again, so I can see why it would be the same. Though I'm not sure I'm confident enough to say that Ai forgave Sentarou in the end, I do think she reflected on what happened and came to more of an understanding of why he did what he did.

b a c k   .   c l e a r   .   f o r w a r d    Heaven's a Lie and its contents are © Samantha, however Ai and Jigoku Shoujo are © Aniplex, Studio Deen and other rightful owners. Heaven's a Lie is a part of AFTER-DEATH.ORG.